Do unto them, as you would have them do unto you.

The other day Brent asked me a question. He ask me, "Do you you think we're too uptight?" I thought about it for a minute and said, "No, I don't think so. Why?" He proceeded to tell me a story about another couple he knew. I won't go into the details, but the jest of the story was that the female partner was being touchy-feely with some other men. The male partner does the same thing with other women but seems to get mad when his girlfriend does it. My thoughts on the subject were this: He does it, so she thinks it's okay for her to do it. She's also right. If one partner behaves one way, they have no right to get mad at their partner for doing the same thing. I can see how they could get frustrated with each other, but it's simple. If it's okay for you to do it...why isn't it okay for your partner to do it? In relationships boundaries need to be set. Brent and I have told each other what we expect from the other as a partner. Everyone needs boundaries, this is something that can make or break a couple. If you have never talked about it, now's a good time. To start off, you need to decide what is appropriate, and what is not appropriate. But every couple is different about how they are. So decide what's best for both of you, here's an example:
Girl: Hey, do you have the notes from English 101? I missed class.
Guy: Sure here you go. I'll just get them from you in class tomorrow.
Appropriate? Yes.
Here's the next example.
Girl: I missed English class, can I come up to your dorm room and let's go over them together?
Guy: Sure, it'll be good for both of us.
Appropriate? No.
Not for me and Brent any way. The best way to have a healthy relationship is to make sure you talk to each other. Discussing boundaries is a good way to learn about each other. After four years Brent and I are still learning about each other. There is no set way for bringing this up, so just start with a question. It will be much smoother crossing this bridge if it's brought up and talked about before someone brings it up in an argument, which is what happened to us. Talk about it now, that way there's no questions in the future. And yes, there is A LOT of talking that goes on in a healthy relationship.